BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It’s a broad practice usually related to sexual and erotic exploration, though it can be explored in a non-sexual way. Historically seen as taboo, more and more individuals and couples are finding themselves drawn to the novelty of sexual exploration—and therefore, to BDSM. You may have heard this acronym thrown around before without much context (there’s probably a reason for that)—so let’s go over what exactly BDSM entails.
Let’s take it from the top: Bondage. Bondage quite simply refers to one or more people being bound, tied up, or in some way restricted or restrained. In the past, this was mostly done with rope, but new products on the market have lowered the barrier to entry and drastically simplified the process. For example, our Silk Bondage Restraint is used in the practice of bondage and eliminates the need to know how to tie complicated knots or work with long stretches of rope. In a matter of seconds, you could have your lover bound at the wrists, hands over their head, or tied behind their back.
Why is bondage sexy? If you’re new to this topic, it might be worth considering why BDSM works. Essentially, relationships require polarity—our similarities are what create love and connection, while our differences are what make things HOT. By actively engaging in BDSM practices, you intentionally create more polarity with your partner, thus creating more turn-on.
Bondage is a visceral way to create this polarity and power exchange—if I tie you up, it’s pretty easy to see that I’m the one in control. If you can’t move, you’re at the mercy of my will. For the person being bound (the submissive), the inability to resist, move, or squirm can actually help lull them into deeper submission—something that may not be as achievable if they are physically able to resist.
Discipline is a big part of a dom/sub relationship and refers to the punishments given by the dom to the sub. If a submissive does not do exactly what the dominant says, the dom may discipline the sub. This can take a variety of forms. For example, discipline in BDSM may refer to spanking or other physical punishment, or mental/emotional discipline—perhaps the dom will not allow the sub to do something they usually like to do in the bedroom.
We talked about dominance and submission in this article, so be sure to check that out. This concept is integral to BDSM and is the overarching dynamic of the BDSM practice. Essentially, in order to create the polarity that fuels the turn-on in BDSM, you need opposite energies—these energies are dominance and submission.
Sadism and masochism are two sides of the same coin when it comes to BDSM. A sadist is one who derives pleasure from inflicting pain, while a masochist is one who derives pleasure from receiving pain. For example, this is commonly explored through flogging or spanking, sometimes with a paddle or other objects.
No matter which piece of the acronym you’re curious about, we’re here to help! We believe in the healing power of BDSM and hope you’ll take a chance and try it out. Happy exploring!
